Where can a straight married woman find a gay boyfriend?

Husbands are great. But, a married gal living south of San Francisco needs a man to supplement her husband's efforts. She needs someone who can take on some of the tasks her husband really doesn't want, such as talking about reality TV, building strategies for spring and fall wardrobes and working out lingering body image issues.

The perfect man for this job is a gay boyfriend. He is the ideal person to give you the honest feedback on your denim, hair color and who is actually crazier, you or your mother. Once you have been married for five or more years, your husband is no longer willing or able to be objective. You need a third party to get honest feedback and your girlfriends are sometimes unable to be truly honest.

If you live in San Francisco, Los Angeles or New York, finding a gay boyfriend is a non-issue. But, here in the Silicon Valley, we have a surplus of engineers and programmers and few available gay boyfriends. There are no potential gay boyfriends at Trader Joe's, Little League games or the downtown Starbucks. If they are here, potential gay boyfriends are clearly not on the regular "mom" routes.

Limited by our peninsula location, children's schedules and desire not to look too desperate for homosexual attention, avenues for attracting a gay boyfriends are pretty limited. Craig's List, Facebook and email lists are exceptional for most situations but may not be efficient for finding a gay boyfriend for a suburban wife and mother. Referrals, word-of-mouth and co-workers are probably the only appropriate means to meeting your gay boyfriend. To date, these methods have not been successful.

It is possible that gay boyfriends are hard to find because they do not see a lot of upside potential in pairing with a suburban mom. What does the suburban wife offer him that he doesn't already have? If we had something they wanted, they would be looking for us too and we would certainly find each other. Maybe he could be enticed with housewife gossip or bribed with invitations to school fundraisers? Let's hope so.

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